SPORTS
crossing our fingers

Man paralyzed chasing monkey that took his favorite Steelers hat will have surgery

His family is hoping for the best.

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BECAUSE FLORIDA
money shot

Man beats up ATM that gave him too much cash

The weirdest stuff happens here, we swear.

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BECAUSE FLORIDA
size matters

Dude arrested for calling 911 over restaurant's small clams

If you aren't satisfied with your meal, you should say something.

Of course, you might want to call a waiter — not 911.

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SPORTS
tragic

Steelers fan paralyzed while chasing monkey who stole his favorite cap

Now that's a serious fan.

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BECAUSE FLORIDA
Pardon?

If you suck at driving, Miami's your city of choice

Go ahead and run that stop sign. Forget to feed the meter? Who cares?

Yield? FTS!

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HOLIDAY
that'll leave a mark

Things don't go according to plan for skydiving Santa

He probably should've opted for the sleigh.

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BECAUSE FLORIDA
we shouldn't laugh, but ...

The sign language interpreter that left everyone thinking 'WTF?'

She said what?

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BECAUSE FLORIDA
our spirit animal

Opossum breaks into liquor store, gets wrecked

This animal wasn't playing possum in a Florida liquor store. It was truly drunk.

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